From the New Mrs Wainwright…
When people say it’s the best day of your lives they absolutely aren’t kidding!!! It truly was magical. 9th July 2021 – the day we had waited almost a year for, after we had originally arranged – but looking back now and even as we approached our day we knew it was this date that we were supposed to say I do… (which you don’t actually say by the way – we had no idea it was ‘I will’, not ‘I do’ until our rehearsal the day before)
So Dotty…My journey with these guys started 29th September 2019. I was due to board a flight to Mykonos, but it was cancelled so I decided to book an appointment with this boutique as I had been to a shop the day before and not had much luck. I came to Dotty for a specific designer, but I knew as I entered the store it was about so much more than the dresses within this boutique.
I found my dream dress and my life as I knew it turned on its head. I developed a relationship with the team, they saw potential in me, and I adored their ethos and company messaging. Every bride is an individual, no bride is a number. You are welcomed to the Dotty family when you say ‘Yes’ here and now, when doing my appointments with brides, I ensure you know this. I am only biased towards this boutique because of my first hand experiences, knowledge and the comments and conversations I have had with several other brides in my time working with them. This boutique is the best!
‘I found my dream dress and my life as I knew it turned on its head.’
The build-up to your wedding day can be stressful, it needn’t be, but it can be. So find a boutique that takes your dress worries away. Shopping around is overrated, bringing too many with you is also overrated which I will go into in a bit more detail soon and moving forward this is something I am going to be talking about across the socials, as I feel a lot of stress throughout the wedding journey is absolutely avoidable.
Once I had found my dress, I felt like a weight had been lifted – but guess what I did? Second guess myself – as we all do, and that is absolutely fine, normal and expected. But this investment piece is just that, it’s probably one of the most expensive garments you’ll ever purchase and therefore is totally different to high street shopping. So finding your dress on your first appointment and it being the first one you’ve tried is absolutely fine, exciting and actually more normal than you think. Don’t even think there may be a better gown elsewhere and I assure you there won’t be a better gown in a shop you are yet to visit…You can’t replace a feeling in YOUR DRESS. Minimising the amount of appointments, you have will ensure you don’t look back and say ‘gosh, wedding dress shopping was so stressful’ as it absolutely shouldn’t be. The more shops you go to, the more confused you will leave yourself, and the more you’ll feel the overwhelm and pressure. Take it in your stride, believe in your choices and know that making this decision that a dress is yours is the next step to marrying your best friend.
‘You can’t replace a feeling in YOUR DRESS.’
Now, guest numbers…I always wanted to keep the dress a secret between my mum and my sister, I wanted it to be something just the three of us did together. I also wanted the ‘first look’ photo and wanted to surprise my bridesmaids. Not only did this make for amazing memories, it enabled me to really think about what dress I loved, what dress I felt my best in, because it can be so overwhelming and so daunting when lots are giving their opinion. Your opinion is the most important. It is you who will be wearing the dress all day. You need to feel like YOU but the best version of you. Your family, friends and partner will love you in whichever you choose, because you will be beaming. Trust me.
‘You need to feel like YOU but the best version of you.’
Regarding the rest of your planning, get ahead, be organised, don’t leave things till the last minute, ask for help and don’t feel bad for delegating certain aspects of your day! Have regular planning meetings with your other half and let your family know where you are up to, how you are feeling, let them be led by you! Our situation was very different planning through a pandemic, but the similarities will always be present in some form, with family opinions, bridesmaid disagreements, best men getting stuck abroad… We can laugh now but things will always crop up and try to knock you off your path. Stay strong, stay focussed, let others see how you are dealing with the planning of your big day and they should just wait for updates from you.
As your day fast approaches, make those final tweaks to your plans, the final additions, be in regular contact with your suppliers and TRUST them. They are the experts and on the day they will be the ‘non-bride’ version of you, bringing your overall vision to life. The day you have waited for – for months, years, is finally here. Relax, breathe and soak up every second, let go and trust – it will all be perfect!
In the last few days you may find things crop up and try to send you into a spin. We had to get a new best man for a start and then I couldn’t find the atomiser I had prepared for Rich for the day and it sent me into a meltdown. But honestly, the more problems you are faced with the better, believe it or not and actually if you handle them with your bridal racquet and just keep batting them away, handling, solving, and bossing them you’ll be fine and feel totally in control. Feeling like you aren’t in control? Make sure you are taking time to remind yourself just how far you have come. How far you have yet to go, and how well you have done to plan this day pretty much single handedly. We also look back now and the hiccups we had took us onto the right path, surrounded by the right people, giving us the perfect day we deserved and wanted.
So the day has arrived, the day you’ve been waiting for, does it go quick? What day doesn’t, but this feels different. I remember every second, I absorbed it all, we were in our element, it was everything we dreamed of and more, and we just lapped it all up. So yes it went quick but not to the point where I was sad, it was amazing! All of it!
The morning of the wedding…How do you describe the feeling of waking up knowing today is the day all your plans from the last 18-24 months (for some, it’ll be longer) will finally come together? You can’t! For every single bride and groom it’ll be different, it will mean different things to different people as well, and that’s why when I coach people I tell them not to compare! Everyone’s journey, situation, and outcomes are different. Everyone faces different things at different stages in their lives. So to compare is the first step to not fully immersing yourself in YOUR day!
To feel the love, the laughter and the happiness around you on that level is a special feeling that you won’t ever forget. Spend the days, weeks, months after surrounding yourself with those that attended, talk about your day, let it live on through photo, video and conversation, talk daily about your favourite bits, go back and think about how you felt. The one day you will want to relive over and over.
‘To feel the love, the laughter and the happiness around you on that level is a special feeling that you won’t ever forget’
If I can give you any advice it would be to never forget to look after yourself in the lead up to your wedding, self-care isn’t something you can assign yourself too much of. The more the better. Having a strong mind and a strong body won’t just make you feel good on the outside, it’ll help so, so much on the inside too!
‘Don’t look back and regret anything – do everything you intended to do, and really embrace every laugh, smile, tear and feeling that you have.’
Relax on your day, nothing you can do now will change anything, fully jump in, that newlywed grin shouldn’t leave your face all day, except when you are crying happy tears (which will happen). Don’t look back and regret anything – do everything you intended to do, and really embrace every laugh, smile, tear and feeling that you have. Bride to be you have waited long enough for this moment, so has your groom… It’s time! You will look a million dollars and you will be beaming all day. I promise, I am so excited for you! Have the best day. I can’t wait to hear all about it!!
Love always, from one bride to another!
Alex
xxxx